Maybe the Heisman Trophy is not good enough for Matt Barkley?

Ditto for winning the National Championship and being the first pick in the 2013 NFL Draft?

Considering his works and deeds on-and-off the field (are there holes in his hands and feet?), maybe he should be canonized as a saint?

You say that someone must be deceased before he or she can be canonized? Details, details.

My point here is that the slovenly and slobbering media coverage has been uniformly glowing to the point it is already way beyond the point of being over the top. Does Barkley walk on water? Does he change water into wine? Does he part the friggin’ Red Sea?

NCAA Football: San Jose State vs USC SEP 5

There are … count em … 2.38 million Google results about Matt Barkley. He is on the cover of Sports Illustrated. Lindy’s chronicled Saint Matt leading 15 of his teammates heading off to Haiti last May to help the needy. He is a devout Christian. He passed up NFL riches this year to come back and save USC for one more year. Who needs Mother Teresa?

Playboy described him as the “Golden boy.” Mater Dei Matt would probably ask: “Playboy? What is Playboy?”… He really doesn’t want to know.

As I attempt to rationalize the 24/7/365 ESPN coverage of Matt Barkley with some sort of semblance of sanity, please understand that I actually graduated from USC with a degree in Broadcasting Journalism way back in the prior century, 1978. I have a very soft place in my heart for the Trojans, “Conquest,” the Song Girls and Traveler.

At the same time, I am free of the Southland’s polluted inversion layer which seems to cause people stuck on LA freeways to expect nothing less than annual national championships and Heisman Trophies.

As a public relations instructor, Master’s degree recipient and two-decade-plus football season ticket holder at the humbler University of Oregon, I have seen Barkley play live three times against the Ducks. Last year, Barkley torched Oregon for four touchdowns and one pick and 323-yards as the Trojans hung on 38-35 at Autzen Stadium in Eugene.

The previous year, Barkley’s stats were not so divine. He threw one touchdown and two picks (269 yards) against Oregon as the Ducks won 53-32, prompting Trojan fans to take early flight from the Los Angeles Mausoleum.

In Barkley’s first visit to Autzen in 2009, Barkley threw two touchdowns and one pick for 187 yards in a 47-20 frightening Halloween night loss to Oregon.

If you are scoring at home, these results translate into a career 1-2 record (7 TDs and 5 Picks) for Barkley vs. Oregon. He has the opportunity on November 3 back at the LA Mausoleum to even the score. And yet, there is this unprecedented Matt Barkley hyperventilation and histrionics emanating from the foaming-at-the-mouth sports media.

Let’s assume the awarding of the Heisman Trophy, the National Championship and the first pick in the 2013 NFL draft are all administrative acts as it applies to the over-celebrated Matt Barkley. What’s the logical next step?

Only one “person” has ever ascended into heaven and as the Good Book says; he was the son of God. Is Barkley the second son of God? That may be even too much for Matt Barkley.

assumption

How about the second Assumption? The Blessed Mary was assumed into heaven where she now hangs out with Ronald Reagan, Vince Lombardi and Steve Jobs. Why shouldn’t Barkley be the first male to be assumed into the heavens? He could get to know St. Peter on a first name basis.

Besides injecting some humor into Barkleymania, there is a reality here that he should remember: The media is the opposite of the Marine drill sergeant at Camp Pendleton. The Marines beat you down and then build you up as a Marine. The media can build you up as they have done Matt Barkley, but they would rather tear you down and spit you out.

Ask Tiger Woods, if you don’t believe me.

Always be on your guard, Mr. Barkley. Always be on your guard…even if you are assumed into heaven. There are critics everywhere, even there.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canonization

http://www.motherteresa.org/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ascension_of_Jesus

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assumption_of_Mary

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matt_Barkley

http://articles.latimes.com/2012/aug/15/sports/la-sp-0816-usc-football-20120816

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