Tag Archive: Deschutes Brewery


The beer stand at Oregon’s Moshofsky Center indoor “tailgate” party offered an intriguing choice last Saturday.

One could purchase a 16-ounce Deschutes Brewery Mirror Pond Pale Ale for $10.

Or one could consume two 12-ounce Coors Lights (a.k.a. “The Silver Bullet”) for the same price … $10.

Here’s the question: What is more important … the quality of the beer or the cost of the suds?

Back in college we never blinked about the source of our fermented hops, water and barley, our only considerations were access and cost (e.g., Oly quarts for 55 cents).

Heck, we even tapped keg beer and consumed nothing but foam.

When contemplating this national issue, consider that Oregon is celebrated for its microbrew culture (along with Pinot Noirs and Cannabis).

Almost DailyBrett is a big fan of user friendly Mirror Pond pale ale with its smooth full taste, reasonable amount of malt and barley, and low alcohol.

But would your author … even for a nanosecond consider drinking two Coors Lights (24 ounces) for the same cost of one Mirror Pond (16 ounces)?

The real question: Was yours truly willing to make “love in a canoe” in the name of thrift?

“Life Is Too Short To Drink Cheap Beer”

The Germans are legendary for their beers, namely golden (helles) and dark (dunkles) lagers.

Das Reinheitsgebot or the German Beer Purity Law goes back to München 1487, five years before Columbus set sail for the New World.

Besides setting its protectionist standard for beer (e.g., no Silver Bullets in Deutschland), the Germans also coined the above phrase about life being simply too short to ingest Coors Light or any other Ausländer lager, let alone English ales.

For Almost DailyBrett, is his expected stay on this planet way too short to even consider … let alone drink … Coors Light regardless of price?

Mirror Pond pale ale is the anchor brand for Bend Oregon’s Deschutes Brewery, and favorably rivals Chico California’s Sierra Nevada’s Pale and Ft. Collins, Colorado’s New Belgium’s Fat Tire.

Admittedly, $10 is pricey for a one half-pint when you consider you can buy a “sixer” at your local supermarket for approximately the same price. One should also consider and weigh the ambiance of game day at Moshofsky with several thousand of your most intimate fellow Duck fans.

Isn’t Gemütlichkeit or being warm and fuzzy all over with kindred spirits the same whether one Mirror Pond or two Coors Lights are being carried and consumed?

That question is the essence of the dilemma. How many beers do most people quaff before, during and after a nationally televised football game (e.g., Oregon’s 17-7 win over Cal)? For Almost DailyBrett, the answer is typically two.

Okay, let’s rephrase the question: Two Mirror Ponds for $20 (32-ounces total) or two Silver Bullets for $10 (24-ounces).

Would your author actually Make Love In A Canoe?

Gasp, would yours truly consume two beers that are F…… Close to Water?

Alas, dos Coors Lights were the shameful order of the day in direct violation of the Reinheitsgebot, and everything we hold dear in America.

At least your author was not tempted by PBRs at any price or quantity.

When it comes to a race to the bottom, yours truly will only stoop so low.

https://www.coorslight.com/av?url=https://www.coorslight.com/

Mirror Pond Pale Ale

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reinheitsgebot

 

 “San Francisco has many charms, but it is not particularly salubrious. People regularly encountering used drug needles, human excrement and sidewalks full of homeless people when they arrive home late at night at their $4,000-a-month one-bedroom flat in San Francisco sometimes think they might just prefer it elsewhere.” The Economist cover story, “Peak Valley, Why startups are going elsewhere.”  

A median-priced home in the SF Bay Area, including the Silicon Valley, costs $940,000. Where can one find this mid-range beauty?

Scenic Milpitas? Bucolic Sunnyvale? Hip Hayward? Utopia in Union City?

HUD considers a family income of $120,000 in San Francisco to be “low income.” Six figures is “low income”?

The traffic in the Bay Area, let alone Los Angeles, is beyond mind-numbing.

If you like taxes, California is your redistribution nirvana: Income, sales, corporate, property, gas, tobacco, liquor, special assessments, fees, surtaxes, bridge tolls … If it tastes good, it’s taxed.

The Bay Area Council quantitatively revealed that 46 percent of regional respondents want to move elsewhere compared to one-in-three just two years ago.

And where do many consider moving? Portland, Eugene, Bend, Lake Oswego, Ashland … all in Oregon.

The desire of Californians to adopt and embrace Oregon’s superior quality of life at saner prices (e.g., zero sales tax) is not new. What is notable is the disappearance of the term, “Californicators” from the vocabulary of Oregonians.

Are Californicators going extinct?

What happened to this threatened species, which at one time was feared and loathed by Oregonians?

Driving Housing Prices; Compounding Traffic; Polluting Campgrounds

“I urge them to come and come many, many times to enjoy the beauty of Oregon. But I also ask them, for heaven’s sake, don’t move here to live.” – Former Oregon Governor Tom McCall

When the author of Almost DailyBrett first moved to Portland, Oregon in 1990, it was a good idea to remove the California plates from a vehicle as quickly (e.g., two nanoseconds) as possible.

As a former “Californicator,” your author was immediately responsible for all the sins that ailed Oregon. The state’s timber industry was heading in the wrong direction and the national recession hit Oregon hard.

Let’s face it, Oregonians exhibited a pronounced inferiority complex vis-à-vis California with its glorious weather, Silicon Valley entrepreneurs, Hollywood entertainers and yummy wineries in Napa and Sonoma Counties.

What Oregonians didn’t seem to appreciate was that times were-a-changing. California was becoming more image than reality. The estimated 9 million more souls (about the size of Michigan), who were projected to move to the Golden State by 2010, actually established residence … and then some.

Californians started commuting longer distances as traffic intensified and as taxes and tempers rose. California is more than Los Gatos, Los Altos, San Francisco, Tiburon, Malibu and La Jolla. The state is also home to hopelessness in Central Valley foreclosure communities including Stockton, Modesto, Fresno, and Bakersfield.

California used to be divided by north (e.g., San Francisco) vs. south (LaLaLand). Today, it is west (e.g., Palo Alto) vs. east (e.g., Visalia).

Doesn’t It Rain in Oregon?

Sure does and Oregonian loved exploiting the rain, dampness and gloom for their own purposes.

And then all the inferiority stopped cold, replaced by a smugness, even a sense that Oregon is superior to California.

Portland as evidenced by Portlandia became the place in which the Dream of the 90s survived.

JASON: “Remember when people were content to be unambitious? Sleep to eleven? Just hangout with their friends? You’d have no occupations whatsoever. Maybe you work a couple of hours a week at a coffee shop?”

MELANIE: “Right. I thought that died out a long time ago.”

JASON: “Not in Portland. Portland is a city where young people go to retire.”

Oregon became synonymous with the Nike Swoosh. The Ducks played twice for the national title, and won their last two Rose Bowls with Marcus Mariota accepting the Heisman Trophy.

Oregon’s Willamette Valley quickly became recognized as the home of some of the best Pinot Gris’ and Pinot Noirs in the world.

The state’s microbrews are literally second to none including: Widmer Hefeweizen (Portland), Deschutes Mirror Bond Pale Ale (Bend), Ninkasi Total Domination IPA (Eugene), Full Sail Amber Ale (Hood River).

The state diversified away from timber to become a leader in high technology, cancer research, and a whole host of service oriented businesses.

The departure of the figurative Californicators from the local nomenclature is both a reflection of the decline of California, but more importantly the growing coolness of Oregon.

https://www.opb.org/artsandlife/article/former-governor-tom-mccall-message-visitors/

https://www.economist.com/briefing/2018/09/01/silicon-valley-is-changing-and-its-lead-over-other-tech-hubs-narrowing

https://almostdailybrett.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/the-death-of-californication/

https://genius.com/Carrie-brownstein-and-fred-armisen-dream-of-the-90s-lyrics

https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_U.S._states_by_population

 

 

 

 

Putting Lipstick on a Pig

“Life’s too short to drink cheap beer.” – Warsteiner button

You can’t put frosting on manure.” – John Madden

I don’t often drink beer but when I do, I prefer it not to be Pabst Blue Ribbon (PBR)” – With Apologies to Dos Equis’ “The Most Interesting Man in the World.”

(Scene: A Pabst Blue Ribbon marketing guru walks along a Southern California beach and finds a magic lantern. He rubs the lantern and a genie emerges offering to grant him a wish…)

PBR marketing pro: “I would like there to be finally peace and harmony in the Middle East?”

Genie: “What is the Middle East?”

PBR pro: “See this map? Here is Israel, the Gaza Strip, Lebanon, Syria, Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, Pakistan…”

Genie: “Whoa…these people have been at each other’s throats for hundreds of years…Is there anything else I can do?

PBR: “Can you make Pabst Blue Ribbon, cool?”

Genie: “Can I see that map again?”

The definition of “oxymoron” is a figure of speech in which incongruous or seemingly contradictory terms appear side by side including: legal brief, paid volunteer, plastic glasses, pretty ugly, clearly confused, Beaver Nation and Pabst Blue Ribbon is cool.

pbr

The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service is duly charged with preserving species that are threatened or endangered with extinction such as: marbled murrelets, northern spotted owls, diamond back rattlesnakes and alligators. Should we also be concerned about saving Pabst Blue Ribbon, the Mother of All Mediocre Lagers?

As a resident of the State of Oregon, we Pacific Northwest-types know a thing or two about rain, salmon, pinot noirs and microbrews. Checking out a public house recently in Eugene, there was a list of ales and lagers to imbibe (mostly the former) and it included a Ninkasi Total Domination IPA, an Oakshire Oatmeal Stout, a Widmer Hefeweizen, a Deschutes Black Butte Porter, a Red Hook ESB, a New Belgium Fat Tire (amber ale) etc. For those who prefer making love in a canoe, there were the predictable offerings: Bud Light and Coors Light.

At the bottom of the beer list was the mysterious listing: “PBR.” What the f… is “PBR?”

It took a while for the little light to go on. PBR is Pabst Blue Ribbon of Milwaukee…err…Los Angeles, California. If you are looking for bad boob jobs, one should head to LaLaLand. Now if you are seeking out desultory lagers, LA is your place as well.

“PBR” is a Hail Mary marketing campaign championing Pabst Blue Ribbon “coolness” and it is already claiming a few victims. This point was evidenced this morning by the empty Pabst Blue Ribbon 40-ounce bottle lying beside the Pioneer Cemetery, located adjacent to the University of Oregon campus (the irony does not escape me).

Carefully picking up the empty, I noted on the label that Pabst Blue Ribbon was celebrated as America’s best beer in 1893. And the Chicago Cubs claimed their most recent World Series championship in 1908. Heck, anyone can have a bad century…and then some.

As a public relations instructor at the university level, I believe that everyone and every organization should be able to tell their story (e.g., Lance Armstrong on Oprah). At the same time, PR, marketing and advertising pros are not miracle workers. And truth and morals should not be flexible.

Maybe, your great-grandfather (and/or great-grandmother) consumed Pabst Blue Ribbon, and your grandparents as well. Quite possibly your father and mother both took a sip from the white can with the blue ribbon as well. Instead of projecting youthful coolness with the acronym, PBR, wouldn’t it be more honest to celebrate Pabst Blue Ribbon as the lager that made your ancestors, your ancestors?

http://www.schiesshouse.com/beer_quotations_and_humor.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Most_Interesting_Man_in_the_World

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pabst_Blue_Ribbon

%d bloggers like this: